February 4, 2000 - Well, this is not a very good day.. Chuck came home today and the
engine on the jeep we just got went bad.. We were planning on replacing it with a better
one anyway but, not this soon.. Well, Hopefully we will be able to get out tax refunds
back soon enough so we can do it and i can get to Durham..  I'm tired of waiting but, I
still need to wait for the insurance to approve me or deny me anyway so, I guess it
could be worse.. I guess I am also done with the Litter Mates.. It don't seem like anyone
is interested in joining.. Well, Steve and I thought it was a good idea.. Oh well.. Life
goes on..

February 11, 2000 - I called Dr Rutledge's office today and talked to Debbie.. Still no
word from the insurance.. She said it would be about a month and it's been just around
that now.. Oh well.. This just gives us more time to get another engine for the jeep..
Don't want to be approved and then not be able to get there in the specified time and
then not be approved again... I don't think I could handle that.. I would walk there before
that happened!!! I just can't stand the thought of being fat for the rest of my life!! But, I
have taken a step back.. There is no reason to get all stressed out because of this and that
is exactly what I was doing.. I obsess when I want something and although that can be
good for a lot of people, it's not good for me.. I'm normally laid back and calm.. I try
not to take life too seriously.. It's too short.. So, I will just take a deep breath and wait
for the next step.. If I take it too soon, I will trip.. I don't want to do that!

February 20, 2000 - Well, our friends got in tonight. They will be staying with us for a
little while. It will be a little cramped in here but it's nice to see them again! It will also
help because I will have transportation to the Dr's office when it comes time. This is a
good thing!

February 21, 2000 - I called the Dr's office today and I am not happy at the moment. I
submitted my insurance form to be sent in early January. I was told that it would take
about a month from the time it was submitted to find out if i was approved or denied
by the insurance company. Well, it's been almost two months and I called. I was told
that they need to have my past medical records for the last three years BEFORE they can
send the form!!! Why the hell couldn't they have told me this when I first submitted it?
I have just wasted almost two months!!! I think I will call Wilmington tomorrow and
make an apointment for Dr Olchowski. Maybe I will get more done with him..

February 22, 2000 - I am in better sprits today.. I called Wilmington this morning and
I have an appointment for monday the 28th... Well, at least I am getting a little further
along in this whole thing now.. I just hate to know that everything I have done so far
was all for nothing.. Oh well.. Such as life.. Guess I will know more on Monday.. :)

February 23, 2000 - Well, I told Chuck about the apointment I made for Wilmington.
He wants me to call Dr R's office back and make an apointment for him being that
he is the one I have been talking about so much and I know the most about. So, I
guess its backto the drawing board.. I now have an appointment for Saturday March
11th at 9am..